


these chicks don't even know the name of my band

by fir8008



Category: N.Flying (Band), ONEWE (Band), Produce 101 (TV), The East Light (Band), The Unit: Idol Rebooting Project (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Battle of the Bands, Drabble, Fluff and Crack, Gen, this is basically substance-less crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 20:12:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15893286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fir8008/pseuds/fir8008
Summary: Hoesung arrives at the annual battle of the bands only to find the competition has gotten much, much… younger...





	these chicks don't even know the name of my band

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is just some substance-less crack that I wrote as part of this one like = one AU I'd like to write I did on twitter a while ago. This is probably also too long for what this actually is haha. 
> 
> I do hope you enjoy it! 
> 
>  
> 
> Title comes from D12's "My Band"

Hoesung steps out of the van and takes in a deep breath. He closes his eyes and smiles. It certainly smells like it’s the day of the battle of the bands. Meaning, it smells a little bit like their van, and body odor, and guitar strings, but it also smells like brotherhood and competition and victory. Because this year is going to be their year! It had to be their year! They were back and better than ever. They had a song full of wit and fun and potatoes. Seunghyub had a gold microphone. 

What could go wrong? 

They lug their gear to the gates of the competition and standing there are two lanky looking young kids who ask them for their registration confirmation. Jaehyun fishes through his bag to find the email printed while Hun sighs deeply about getting into the modern era and just bringing up the email on his phone. 

While Jaehyun is pulling napkins and receipts and random papers out of his man purse, Hoesung takes in the scene. It’s a high school arts festival, which he takes as a little bit weird, since the battle of the bands is usually held at a music hall. He also doesn’t see any other bands arriving, which is weirder still, because instead he sees a bunch of kids with bags of grocery bags trotting back through the school gates. Hoesung looks up and squints at the banner and it surely does say there’s a battle of the bands, but it doesn’t actually seem to be the one that they’ve come to the past few years. 

This gets compounded by another band finally arriving (with a caravan of instruments, and bizarrely, fruit) and checking in with the other kid. 

“Woojinie!” 

“Seonho hyung, what’s up?” 

The boys do a secret handshake and fistbump before Seonho sits back down and asks for their registration confirmation. Woojin brings it up on his phone and Hun sighs exasperatedly as Jaehyun finally pulls the confirmation out of his bag. 

“Do you have a student ID?” the other boy, Guanlin, asks. 

“Student ID?” Jaehyun asks. 

Hoesung puts one and one and one together. 

“Jaehyun, did you register us for a high school band competition!?” 

Jaehyun’s face is contorting. “No!” he squeaks. 

He has. 

 

Hoesung is sitting in a chair that’s slightly too small for him in a classroom that’s been converted into a dressing room and rubbing his temples. Somehow, intellectually, he knew Jaehyun really would be stupid and/or careless enough to register them not for the actual battle of the bands but a local high school’s battle of the school bands. It’s somehow not implausible this has happened to them. Like it’s also somehow not implausible that Kwangjin is shamelessly winking at female teachers as they pass by and ask if they need anything. (Luckily Kwangjin has yet to answer with “your number.”) 

How did this happen to them? Seunghyub seems to be taking it all in stride, as is Hun. Hoesung does not understand that at all. He’s probably as rattled as Jaehyun, who has been sitting amazingly silent with his mouth hanging open as he is clearly trying to walk back how he signed up five grown ass men for a high school band competition. 

“It’s not a big deal,” Seunghyub says easily. “We’ll put on a fun show, maybe convert some of these kids to becoming our fans, then next time - at the right battle of the bands - we’ll have some extra votes.” 

“This was our year!” Hoesung says shrilly. 

“Next year will be our year,” Seunghyub nods sagely. 

Hoesung can’t believe this. Much like he can’t believe Kwangjin is now asking a teacher what the prize for winning is (again, thankfully not her number). 

“It’ll seem silly but it’s a meal voucher to the local donkatsu restaurant,” the teacher laughs. 

Seunghyub and Hun sit up in their chairs. Jaehyun snaps out of his catatonic state. 

“It’s our year, boys.” Seunghyub says solemnly. 

 

They’re in a high school auditorium surrounded by probably every female student and quite a few male students and the room is abuzz with high pitched giggles. The first band is onstage, and the guitarist is (showing off) warming up by shredding and Hoesung notices Hun staring at him with interest. 

“I acknowledge him,” Hun says firmly as the guy stops shredding. 

Girls start squealing again and the band onstage bows. 

“Hello,” the leader says. “We are MAS.” 

“No we’re not!” the keyboardist yells. 

“We are the band formerly known as MAS.” 

Hoesung can almost hear the keyboardist slap his forehead. 

“We are,” the leader makes a grand flourish. “ONEWE.” 

The girls scream again and Hoesung starts looking forward to seeing their performance when the leader picks up a bullhorn from beside his mic stand. 

Hoesung has to admit they look pretty cool, throwing some synchronized movements into their performance and playing their instruments very well. Hoesung doesn’t speak English but they sound like they can pronounce things well and Hoesung finds himself nodding along to the beat. Seunghyub looks impressed when the bassist picks up a mic and starts rapping. 

Seunghyub leans over Hoesung to tell Kwangjin that he needs to start pulling his real weight by becoming a rapper. Kwangjin is about to retort, probably about how Seunghyub was the rapper why did Kwangjin have to do that, when the stage is suddenly quiet and the members are rushing to the front of the stage to dance. 

“They yanked the plug out of their amp by accident,” Hun observes as the audience begins to clap along supportively. “That’s like my worst nightmare onstage.” 

The next group certainly looks cool wearing all white summery outfits and bizarrely holding lots of fruit. They’re called The East Light and Hoesung swears he feels his back getting stiffer as they introduce themselves as first year high school students. Hoesung has completed his mandatory military service. 

He has never felt so old or so disrespected by Jaehyun in his life. 

When it’s their turn Hoesung feels suddenly very self-conscious and he doesn’t really know why. He shouldn’t really be worried about what a bunch of high school kids think, except he thinks that can probably be super vicious if they don’t like their song. Hoesung takes a deep breath. Their song is full of wit and fun and potatoes. What could go wrong? 

“Hello,” Seunghyub says. “We’re N.Flying. Um. We’re kind of crashing your festival but we’re happy to be here. So here’s our song.” 

Hoesung will tell his future grandkids that it was a performance for the ages. He probably won’t even be lying. Their song is a hit, there are lots of screaming girls, and later Hoesung will have them come up to him with potatoes they got from somewhere and shy requests for him to sign them. 

What Hoesung will decide to not mention is that they got disqualified for not being high school students. He’ll spare ONEWE by not mentioning the judges were being particularly harsh and also disqualified them for cutting off their own performance by jumping around too excitedly. The band of freshmen win and they congratulate The East Light. It’s hard to not, because they’re cute kids and put their medals around their random assortment of fruits. 

So they lose out on a free meal and winning the real battle of the bands but Jaehyun learned an important lesson about reading before signing the band up for things.

There’s always next year.

**Author's Note:**

> you can come follow me on Twitter @jy_kim8008 !!


End file.
